Yesterday was World Mental Health day and it made me reflect on the past year.
It was a cold morning in December. We got ready for Ethan’s routine health check at the clinic with a health visitor. We arrived on time at the centre and everything was going well until Miss G, the health visitor asked me, “Ethan’s mum, how are you doing?”. I froze.
It was a challenging time back then, where sleep was neglected and I had forgotten what it was like to snore. Tough times. Miss G’s question hit me like an arrow straight through my chest. I could feel my eyes welling up, my body sweating and my heart pounding.
I faked a smile and gave her the usual statement. I think Miss G knew something that I didn’t at the time and she kept asking me questions about myself and being empathetic instead of checking on Ethan. The more she kept being empathatic, my smile faded and were replaced by tears streaming down my face. The flood gates had been opened. I couldn’t stop myself. I started to sob and couldn’t get a breath in. The room which was filled with other mothers and their kids went eerily quiet and I could feel that I became the kid in that room.
I’m thankful for Miss G and the NHS for asking me the question, showing empathy and allowing myself to face my emotions. Thank you for putting a name to the nimbus clouds that were hovering over me – postpartum anxiety. My mental health was not given any importance and I was too afraid to speak up and talk about my emotions even though I had the best support system around me. I have learnt lots over the year and things are so good now but the most important lesson I have learnt is to look after myself and be a little selfish which is work in progress.
I love this photo of Ethan and I from when he was baptised. The smile on my face, that was real.
It’s been exactly 31 days. Even after countless projectile poop explosions, nappy changes and leaky boobs later, my heart melts at my boys’ smile!
It was an incredible 9 months carrying our little one in my tummy and going through labour was the most exhilarating experience ever! It’s taken me 31 days to string words together, pour out my feelings on going through labour and becoming a mother.
Where shall I start? Let me start right from the beginning.
This was the fun bit but also equally terrifying time as we weren’t getting pregnant ever since we started ‘trying’. However we kept our ‘trying’ phase a secret which was brilliant as we didn’t have the pressure from friends or family! After several months of trying, on the 11th of July, Clearblue delivered the happy news! Wooop woop!
Gurl, let me tell you, first 3 months were the worst. Working a 9-5 job, hiding the most happiest news from your colleagues and speed walking to the toilets to puke was the hardest few months ever! Apart from the general tiredness, raging hormones where I would turn from being an angel to an incredibly rude person (only to my darling husband, Basil) and terrible heart burns, my pregnancy was pretty magical. I’m so grateful to God for that! I also managed to squeeze a work trip to the States, holidays to Spain and Disney World Paris too!
After listening/reading to many positive birth stories and hypnobirthing podcasts I envisioned my labour to be a positive one too.
Was my labour and birth easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy?
It was and wasn’t.
The story begins on the 12th of March around 3:30AM when I got the urge to pee. As I made my way to our bathroom, I felt a trickle of water down my leg and all over the bathroom floor. I remember thinking to myself, “Ugh, I just peed myself! I’m gonna have to clean this up with disinfectant!”. Also I have to let you know at this point, I’m 41 weeks and a day overdue! When I realised that I couldn’t hold my pee and the trickle of water was not stopping, that’s when it hit me. WE ARE GONNA MEET OUR BABY BOY SOON! Basil woke up with the fuss I was causing and after we realised exactly what was happening, he grabbed my blue maternity notes and we called up Triage (Maternity A&E) who suggested we could either wait it out for the contractions to begin or come over to the hospital to make sure everything is okay.
At the hospital, the midwife confirmed that my waters had broken, baby is doing great and I should just wait it out for the contractions to begin! In my head I was thinking, “I’m going to have this baby in the next few hours! This is great!” Of course, this is not what happened at all! We got home, had a cup of coffee and just waited and waited…for the contractions to begin. About midday, my contractions started to get slightly more painful and I breathed through them with my younger sister who was nice enough to let me squeeze her hand through each contraction! (Poor thing, all of this must have put her off having kids!) By late evening, the time between each contraction were longer and they were not painful at all. This could only mean one thing – I’m going to be induced for this baby to come out!
On the 13th of March, around 4AM – Basil, my mum and sister got ready to go to the hospital to be induced. We were all hoping that we get to the hospital, they induce me and I just pop out the baby by midday. Of course, that is not what happened.
I was put on a waiting list to be induced. A WAITING LIST! Come on!
Even at this point I was really hoping my contractions kick in hard and I deliver our baby in the birthing pool, just like I planned. Na uh! Our baby was not budging! The day felt long and Basil didn’t leave by my side. He is the best.
Around 5:30PM, I was told by a midwife, “The wait is over! You are going my to be induced!” I was thrilled! My mum and Basil were going to be pillars of strength and they were! We got to the labour ward, I changed into the hospital gown and they examined me. Whilst I was waiting to be induced, I was bouncing around on a birthing ball throughout the day hoping that my labour would start naturally but since that didn’t happen, I hoped I was dilated at least 5cm! Na uh! It was only 3cm! That’s when it hit me, “It’s going to be a long night!”. I was hooked on to monitors and then they induced me. By this point, I started trialling out gas and air – it was fantastic! My memory after this is a little fuzzy as I was on cloud 9 with just gas and air. When the pain got a bit more unbearable, I requested Pethidine and I could feel my contractions coming more frequently and fast.
At about 11:30PM, I shouted (apparently) that I wanted to push which led the midwives to examine me again and I was 8cm dilated! I remember the doctors and midwives encouraging me to push with each contraction. Then the next thing I remember was a whole lot of doctors and midwives in the room all looking in between my legs, looking worried and all up in my face asking me to keep pushing. This was the most hardest thing I have ever done and even writing about it now is making me tear up. I could feel the Ring of Fire when our baby popped its head out and I couldn’t feel any more contractions.
After giving birth to our baby, my mum explained to me that baby’s heart beat had dropped and so did my blood pressure which caused panic in the room. Back to the labour ward, I once again started pushing with all my strength where it felt like it was the biggest poop that I needed to let go of. I pushed and pushed but nothing is happening. This is when they decide that they need to cut me. Ugh! This was the one thing I didn’t want but it needed to happen. After they cut me (shudders), I pushed and pushed and out came into the world, crying loudly, our adorable baby boy, with head full of hair at 12:38AM on the 14th of March weighing 3.28kg. We are in awe of our little Ethan Jax.
Although I didn’t get the birth plan I wanted, I’m super glad that our little one and I are doing great even after losing a lot of blood which was scary. My biggest thanks to my mum and my darling husband who took all my tantrums and for being super positive the whole time with me being pumped on gas and air! Another massive shoutout to all the midwives and doctors who looked after me and gave me the best care!
I hope this little story encourages any expecting mums! Whatever way you choose to have your bundle of joy, you should feel proud and honoured to have gone through the experience which no one can take credit for!
Gosh, I cannot believe it has been exactly 9 months since my last blog post! I have very good reason as to why I was MIA for the last 9 months. It’s definitely not what you are thinking, given that it has been 9 months! Haha!
2015 was a pretty great year for me because I got married to my one and only in December and so I was busy planning a wedding, shopping for the wedding and tackling all the craziness that comes with a BIG INDIAN WEDDING!
Happy to report, our wedding day was just perfect and it’s great being married to my best friend! I still need to get used to being called a Mrs though! Also, figuring out what to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner takes a lot more time than usual!
I have missed blogging and I cannot to write about EVERYTHING! 😀 I have some great blog posts coming up so do look out for them!
PS. Choosing a single wedding picture is hard because it is really hard to choose the best one, so here is a candid one from our pre-wedding shoot which I love very much!
There is a word that gets me every time when it comes to shopping. There is nothing extraordinary about this word, it a 5 letter word which makes my feet very happy. I have a feeling you might have already guessed what the word is by now (or not, the title of the blog post gives most of it away!).
Simple as that. I mean there isn’t any other 5 letter word that would make feet happy, right? 😉
As soon as I heard that Deichmann was collaborating with the fashionable blogger Hanneli Mustaparta on a capsule collection for AW15, it’s safe to say I was excited! The collection features 10 chic styles perfect for this autumn season. This collection has something for everyone, whether you are still in school or if you are out working full time, this collection has got your back. The Slip on Casual Skate Shoes is perfect for those casual days and the sparkly Court Shoes is the ideal accessory to vamp up any outfit for the upcoming party season.
I have a special love towards ankle boots and these boots give me no reason not to love them. Just look at them! Let me first start off by acknowledging how much my feet are thankful for these boots. Why, you wonder? Well, heels and I don’t see eye to eye. They mostly go out of their way to try and hurt me (not intentionally, of course!) whenever I give them a chance. I’m still learning and training myself to walk in heels. I’ll be honest; I was a little nervous about the heel height which was 6.3cm but, once I wore them and walked around with them, I had nothing to be nervous about. If you love heels and ankle boots, you are in for a treat with a very affordable price tag of £24.99.
Here is an outfit featuring these cute booties. How would you rate it out of 10?
Elated, surprised and (very) grateful. These words accurately describe my emotions as I’m writing this blog post. I started this blog (with Tinu) 7 months ago as an outlet to rekindle my creative side as I spent weekdays at my desk coding away or in very important meetings. Also, my younger sister nudged me to just do it and for once I listened to her. It was the best thing I did! I am genuinely blown away by the support and positive response I have had from every corner of the world. This is mind-blowing! One thing was for sure, I was not expecting any of it! This has motivated me to keep consistent and produce quality blog posts to you, my lovely readers!
The picture below perfectly captures how I’m feeling right now (#fbf to the time I had long hair!).
This blog post is really in essence, a long-winded way of saying Thank You to each and every one of you who has supported me in any way.
I would like to end this blog post with this quote from a brilliant movie, PS I Love you.
Holly Kennedy: “All I know is, if you don’t figure out this something, you’ll just stay ordinary, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a work of art, or a taco, or a pair of socks! Just create something… new, and there it is, and it’s you, out in the world, outside of you, and you can look at it, or hear it, or read it, or feel it… and you know a little more about… you. A little bit more than anyone else does… Does that make any sense at all?”
Hope this encourages any one of you to create something that is totally You with your stamp on it for the world to see 🙂
Shoes. This is my second favourite ‘S’ word after shopping of course! I’m always on the lookout for good quality, reasonably priced and fashion forward shoes that adds a little ‘je ne sais quoi’ to an everyday outfit. A few weeks back, my quest to find some work appropriate shoes began. I could have easily gone and got myself some nice black heels but, heels and I are not really the best of friends (we are still trying to get to know each other), so the other alternative are flat shoes. After having a quick a browse through some of my favourite shops like H&M, New Look, ASOS, Misguided and Boohoo, I was left disappointed. I did not find any shoes that my feet lusted over. When I was on the verge of finally giving up, I was reminded of an online shop I subscribed a few months back – JustFab.
JustFab sells designer quality items (from shoes, clothing to accessories) and guess what, all items are priced at £35! Yes, you read it right. £35 only! (Click here to find out more about how JustFab works). As soon as I started browsing through the pages, I instantly started adding my favourites into the ‘My Wishlist’ basket and a couple a minutes later the basket had over 10 items! I had previously decided on a budget of spending only £35 and only intended to get one pair of shoes. However being spoilt for choices, I was struggling to make up my mind. This was when I discovered something exciting! As this was my first time of buying something from JustFab, I was able to make use of an offer which was, BUY 1, GET 1 FREE! I couldn’t believe it! This offer was applied to any shoe that I picked for total cost of £35 + Free Delivery! Buying two pairs of shoes for £35, I was over the moon!
To be completely honest, I was hesitant to put the order in as I was not sure about the quality and also the sizing of the shoes. Nevertheless I took the risk, ordered it and received it swiftly.
Friends, meet the recent additions to my shoe family!
Let’s meet Natalee. A luxurious-loafer styled shoe that definitely makes a bold statement and can also turn a few heads. Wearing this shoe is definitely a confident booster as I feel empowered and bold (never knew a shoe would make me feel such things!). This shoe may not be everyone’s cup of tea but I have got plenty of compliments which were always nice to hear! Next, let’s talk comfort. I had a difficult time breaking this shoe but once getting past that, comfort level is 7/10. I tend to pair these with tailored cigarette trousers and a simple a blouse.
This is Rodgie. Edgy, sophisticated and chic ballet flats which my feet love at the moment. They are super chic and comfort level is definitely 9/10! The spikes and studs on the shoes give it that extra oomph and make any outfit stand out. These shoes are perfect for those night outs if you don’t want to wear high heels but still want to glam it up.
What do you guys think about these shoes? Do you like Natalee or Rodgie or both? Let me know your thoughts through comments below! 🙂
PS. I did not choose the name of the shoes. They already came with their names which I’ve decided to keep it! 😛
I have been longing to buy the Clarisonic cleansing system for the longest time, but sadly the price tag that comes along with it is too hefty for my liking (ranges from £125 – £155). Due to this reason, I have been on the lookout for a similar gadget that doesn’t come with a heart wrenching price tag. My sad tale continued because, even the products that were similar in size, shape and performance was considerably too expensive for my liking. So, for a while I gave up this quest to find one until, I stumbled across the Facial Brush from Body Shop. I remember reading great reviews from the world of blogosphere and decided to give it a try. Additionally, Body Shop offered a 40% discount which I couldn’t resist and had to put an order! I justified this purchase because I was able save quite a bit of money from the 40% discount. Ka-ching! 🙂
Initially I was surprised by how small the brush is, because on the website it looked to be of a decent size. Nevertheless, this did not put me off and I remained positive to give it go. Honestly, I was quite amazed by how effective this little gadget turned out to be. The size on this occasion was not a problem for me. No pun intended! I use it as part of my morning skincare routine along with the Seaweed Deep Cleansing Facial Wash. It literally scrubs away the entire gunk from the skin and reveals a smoother and fresher skin. The bristles are quite soft and the main benefit of this is that I can control how gentle or hard I would like to scrub my face.
Additionally, the facial brush comes with a handy lid which is perfect as it can be stored away cleanly and safely. It is also very handy to take on holidays and it is fuss free! The full price of this gadget is £4 and it is definitely money well spent! I’m glad I didn’t jump the gun and get myself a Clarisonic or a Foreo LUNA™ mini skincare device. If you are looking for a great exfoliant tool without spending shed loads of money, this Facial Brush from Body Shop is the one.
Have you used the Facial Brush before? What are your thoughts? Do you use any other budget gadgets to get your skin exfoliated? Let me know in the comments below!
Clear blue skies, long lazy evenings and flip-flops! Summer is just around the corner and I’m already excited. Here in the UK we haven’t seen a lot of sunshine, so I’m very much looking forward to those days where you are in your garden and soaking up all that Vitamin D! #summerloving Today’s blog post I would like to share with you some easy tips and healthy recipes that could benefit you to achieve that perfect summer glow (on a budget, of course!). Let start off with something easy:
They are pretty great. I am definitely a face mask advocate! Now, we could easily spend a £1 or even £10 for a face mask because it’s easy, less hassle and maybe because they had great reviews! However, we are not going down this route! You could easily whip up a face mask using ingredients from your kitchen cupboard! Once we start foraging through our cupboards you can actually start to see some that some ingredients on their own can be excellent face masks. I could go on and on about the various ingredients you could use for a face mask but, I’d like to tell you of 2 items that I use on a regular basis as a face mask. Potatoes and Tomatoes. Surprised? I bet some of you might be! I have been using these ingredients as my face mask ever since my grandma suggested! Although it didn’t quite make sense why my grandma insisted on using these, a quick Google search answered my questions. Tomatoes: It contains high amount of Vitamin C which is known to brighten skin. The high acidic content in tomatoes helps to treat rashes and acne. Just cut one tomato in half and gently run them against your skin. Sit back and let the tomato juice works its magic on your skin! Don’t forget to rinse after 20 minutes!
Potatoes: They have a high content of carbohydrates and vitamin C and are a natural under eye brightener. Applying potato juice or potatoes directly on the affected area can banish dark eye rings. The juice also helps in the treatment of dark spots and blemishes.
The ultimate superfood! Almonds have been a part of my diet for over a year now and they have done wonders to my skin and health too! Why are they super? I’ll tell you… These little nuts are very rich and a good source of Potassium, Calcium, Vitamin E, Magnesium, Phosphorous, and Iron. I soak almonds the night before, peel and eat them first thing in the morning. Doing this on a regular, every day basis, has most definitely improved the health of my skin. Soaked almonds can help you get your glow back and improve your skin tone by repairing the damaged skin tissues internally and helps in the formation of new cells. However, I’m sorry to those of you who are allergic to them. Blueberries are a perfect alternative and a handful of them everyday can do wonders!
I’m not a very good cook. Living with my parents, my mum makes the most delicious home-cooked food which is a perfectly acceptable reason for me to not cook at all! However after exploring the recipe page from ALOHA, I feel as though I can rise to challenge of cooking something appetizing. My eye caught this recipe: Chicken (or Tofu!) Tacos with Superfood Mole Sauce. Why? It’s simple – Chicken! I need not say more! I am looking forward to cooking this very soon! For all my vegetarian readers, do not fear! They also offer some great veggie recipes too! Like this one: Nut + Seed Veggie Burgers Do feel free to head to their website for more inspiration: ALOHA I really hope you enjoyed reading this post and hoping the tips I shared with you helps you to get your summer glow on! ❤
We are in the month of May and here I am blogging about April’s Purchase of the Month! My apologies! April was a busy month as work took over my life…and I think I just about got it under control! However my lovely readers, you have no idea how worryingly obsessed I have become with one item that I bought in the month of April.
I have been accumulating clothes for the spring season and this blouse I bought in April gets the first prize. Although the blouse does not shout SPRING, it is very lightweight and looks extremely chic when worn. Before I start praising about this blouse, I definitely need to tell you about Misguided – online shop from where I bought this blouse. Misguided provides on-trend, edgy and chic fashion which is affordable and to top things off, they offer student discount for students in the UK.
This season, I have noticed that Stripes are everywhere! Most of well-known high street shops like Topshop, River Island, and H&M have their rails stocked with clothing items that have stripes incorporated to them. I am not complaining at all, I love it!
All you stripe lovers, let me know if you are one by commenting below with #stripelove!
Back to the blog post, where was I? Oh yes, the Misguided blouse! Since, I’m working full time; I always look out for formal clothing that can also be worn on casual days too. This top is perfect for that! This blouse is definitely a statement piece that can be paired with either a slim-leg formal trouser or even with an all-black smart pencil skirt.
| blouse: Misguided |
| trousers: New Look |
| shoes: Local Botique |
| bag: Topshop |
| sunglasses: River Island |
This look can be easily transitioned into a night time outfit where I have added heels and a clutch bag to complete the outfit.
| blouse: Misguided |
| trousers: New Look |
| shoes: Gift |
| clutch: New Look|
Would you wear this look? I would love to hear your thoughts! Let me know by commenting below!
If you have been reading any of my beauty posts, you could probably tell that I’m loyal to the products I use. This is only the case if and only if I love and adore that product. Although the whole Tea Tree range of products are wonderful, this is the one I keep repurchasing over and over and… you know the idea? 🙂
The Body Shop’s Tea Tree Facial Wash is certainly one of those products that I’m loyal to. This is one pretty amazing facial wash and you would love it instantly because of its simplicity and effectiveness you would experience right after your first attempt at using it. I stumbled across this product on their website a few years ago when I was in dire need of something that could help my acne prone skin. Reading the rave reviews, I was quick to purchase it and fall in love with this product.